Been a While

New postage! Well, since Halloween, I have graduated with an associates from Weber State in General Studies. I am officially leaving for Russia on the 29 of January, and all in all it has been an eventful year.
Three weeks ago, they arrested Paul and put him in jail to await trial. Supposedly it is set for the end of January, but I might not be here for it. It has been sad, but I believe that everything happens for a reason, and there most definalty is silver lining this cloud. Pray for him and everything will work out the way it is supposed to.
I keep thinking about how long and short this year has been. It feels like forever ago that I was getting back from China, but I have attened three semesters of college and that has gone by so fast. I don't believe in setting New Years resolutions, but this year I might. It seems that I always have something that I am working on, but it keeps changing, so maybe my New Years resolution is to keep changing into a better person.
For Christmas, I got The Gnome Mobile and I can't even tell you how awesome that is. It is a movie that starts with the letter G. Now all I need to find is a movie that starts with Q and Y. Then I will have every letter of the alphabet. I know, it is very compulsive but my collection just would never be complete with out every letter.
I also got an MP3 player that is the cutest thing I have ever seen. It is the better than I was hoping for. I also got music for the first time ever from my mother. It is great. you ask for a specific item, and low and behold you get it. I think that this is a lot like praying. You have to specifically ask for something because otherwise you aren't going to get it. Needless to say, this was the best Christmas that I have ever had. Thanks to my family for sharing it with me.
I am packing up my room and it has been the worst idea I have ever had. I just have so many nick-nack things that I can't bear to give up, or I don't know what to do with. (How are you supposed to throw away pictures of Jesus?) You know that stuff that other people give you thinking that you will treature it and it just ends up gathering dust in a dark corner somewhere. (The angel Moroni statue.) Then there are all the inside jokes, the homemade birthday cards, the really funny birthday cards, the letters from your friends that you will never read again, but they still make you feel important because all of the stamps added up equal at least fifty dollars. I don't know what to do with these, I know they are just taking up space, but they still mean things to me. I will let you know what I finally decide.
As my time in Utah wears down, I have lots of things that I have to do before I will be ready. Keep your fingers crossed for me and hope for the best.
Love you all!

Halloween

So, my life has slowed down a little. The Megan drama is still very much happening, but I don't feel so overwhelmed by it any more. I have concluded that sometimes you just have to ignore some things until they go away, or else there are a lot of built up worries that haunt you. There were several things in my life that I had no control over, but I felt guilty about them anyway. My back still has some incredible knots in it though.
Today has been good. I spent my morning partying with kindergartners. I love that my new job has a lot of different things going on with it. Every child is different and they make it spontaneous. Because I am a tutor, I get the more problematic kids. I never really struggled in school and I am having a hard time relating. I hope that in time I will get better and actually help at least one of the students. I have spent almost this whole week in the library and I couldn't have had a better fill in position. If I ever get the chance to work in a library, I would move across the world to do so. PS I don't think that I told you I got a job.
ILP is still making the assignments for the head teachers, and I am still waiting for any news from them. I guess I should send in my paperwork and maybe it would go faster. I don't know why I keep procrastinating it.
This semester has flown by and I have concluded that I love school too much to ever leave it. I might not be in college forever, but I will be teaching forever. I love school and I love to learn.
Have a Happy Halloween or hope you had one.

Crazy is as Crazy Does

This past week was eventful. It is such a simple and bland statement that I hardly feel that it gives last week justice. I hardly know where to start and the beginning seems too cliche' to begin there either. We'll start with the bad news and work our way to the boring stuff. Thursday was one of the worst days ever! Monaire and Paul spent the night Wednesday after my uber horrible choir concert. Not that we sang bad, it was just really hot and there were a lot of people and I was not feel good and I am still not feeling good. I didn't get to bed until one-ish because Terra also came back from CEU to spend the weekend on account of fall break. She slept in my room because Monaire was in her room and Paul was on the couch. The next morning I had two tests that I failed, I needed to get finger printed so I could have start my job that I will only be attending until I hopefully leave to a foreign country for about five months. I had to wait until three and I get out of class at one. My mom yelled at me because Paul was supposed to stay at our house for several days because he had surgery on Thursday to re-graft his hand. Long story shortened, Paul wasn't telling me anything and my mom was pissed. So I sat on the horrible bench outside of the fingerprint office and cried until I was numb. I did get fingerprinted though. Happy thought. I find out that our basement has flooded again. Life can get worse, I promise. I am crazy sick with a cold and my back has so many knots that I can't find a good place to sleep. So here's the good news! I have a job now, Paul is talking to me, I got finger printed, my stress zits are slowly going away, and the test that I thought I had today, I really don't have. If I can keep being happy today, then there is hope for tomorrow.

Boredom

I am stilling in Lampros Hall on campus thinking that Seven is not going to get here fast enough. I can tell that it is becoming mid-semester because I am in the thick of homework and exams. I also have to view the schools production of Urinetown for credit in my acting class. I decided that going home only to turn around and spend time and money on gas would be a dumb idea, so I am doing some much needed homework on the schools computers. I am really bored though. I have no one to talk to and this room smells like feet.
After a crazy last week, this one seems really mellow. I am poor and that sucks. I also think that I might have contracted hand, foot, and mouth disease from my nephew because I am getting a really weird rash on my arm. Pretty coll huh? It is hard to tell the difference between my cat scratches and new infestations of sores, they all look alike.
I wanted to be Napoleon Bonaparte for Halloween and I can't find a bicorne hat. If you have seen one, it could be a good time and I just might show up at your Halloween party.
I will be in a concert choir performance next Wednesday so if you want to come see me sing because I don't think you will be able to hear me, right here at Weber State at seven.
For now, I think that I will go and find somewhere good to take a nap.

Emotional Relapse

Sasha died today around 12 this afternoon. We took her to the veterinarian where they tried to shave her free of the knotted fur that had been choking her. When we returned to the office we decided it would be more humane to euthenis her. As much as I believe that she is in a better place, I have still become very distraught about it.
I am grateful the conference was this weekend because it has granted me some much needed peace. In between sessions, we buried Sasha, I went to the eye doctor and got new glasses, and went shopping for curtain rods. I hate the optometrist. I don't think that I have seen the same one since my first time getting glasses. This one gave me the glaucoma test four times because the puffer was hand-held by a shaky physician. Then they dilated my eyes so that I couldn't see what pair of glasses that I wanted and my mom had to drive me home because I was blind. Red, puffy, dilated eyes are excellent to go out in public with. The only thing that would have made my experience better is if they had dyed the outside of my eyes purple. I don't think that I ever want to go back to that doc again. He also kept trying to sell me on lasic surgery; I am too poor to think about it.
Out of my whole family put together, I probably loved Sasha the most. I defiantly spent the most time with her and now that I know she won't be sitting on my window sill ever again, my heart starts to ache. What hurts the most is that when people die, we make them up to look their very best, and Sasha was buried half shaved, bruised, battered, and not the Sasha that I knew. She had a really hard life and I hope that she knew that we loved her. Good-Bye Sasha.

Bad Day

Today hasn't been the greatest day ever. I have a fever and I am not in control of my emotions. So my bad day really started yesterday when I went to my sociology class. We got our first tests back. I was anticipating at least a B. My test was a C+; normally this wouldn't bother me because I don't believe that tests do what they are meant to do. What pissed me off was that the questions that I missed, I wrote explanations as to why I picked that answer. 8 out of 10 times I had the right answer because of my notes. For example, the true or false statement was; when in moderation drinkers tend to be healthier than people who do not drink at all. I marked it as false and then wrote a note next to it stating that if moderation meant one glass of wine with dinner the statement would be true. She told me that I was wrong and that I could be mad at her for not giving me the point for that question. Tests are supposed to test what you know. I obviously knew the answer to the question and I think that my teacher has a complex. This is the same teacher that said that I talk too much and refuses to call on me because she wants the rest of the class to participate. If you attend Weber State I suggest that you do not take a class from Carla Trentelman.
While I was shopping with my mom, I get a text message from one of the best friends I have ever had telling me that he is going to be incarcerated at the end of this month. I will not be able to talk to him near as much as I talk to him now, and he has been one of the only rocks in my life saving me from the currents. I don't know any of the details about how this is going to go down or how long he is going to be there and I am sick about it. Then I pulled into my driveway.
My mom and I had gone to get Chinese food and drugs for my head because it has hurt for three days. We were walking into the house when we saw the majority of the adults living in our house outside with our cat, Sasha. They were shaving her fur with a double edged razor. It turns out that she had gone through a hay-bailer and was choking to death because the fur and weeds were wrapped so tightly around her neck. We are still not sure if she is going to survive because we cannot get the fur to loosen. Her tail is also wrapped up in the fur of her main body causing her some intense pain.
As much as I hate to admit that I have a very tender heart for everything that breathes, I am dying inside because I know that my friend is hurting and I can't do anything for him. I also know that my cat is suffering and there is very little that I can do for her accept put her down. It doesn't help that my emotions are already shot from the beginning of this week and being sick. It has just been a bad day.

Erin Finally Won

Erin kept saying that I should be a blogger and not a facebook person. I suppose that I can be both and that it will only consume most of my free time. This is going to be my vent page. I have been looking for a job for at least three months now. It has become more of a hobby to find out what places are hiring than actually thinking that I want to work there. My self-esteem has taken a hit as I have filled out at least fifteen applications and not one has called me back. I have to wonder if it is my resume...Either way it has not been fun because I don't feel validated unless I have a job. I have been selling plasma at the Biolife Plasma Center in Ogden, but my veins are ridiculously well hidden so that I spend more time recovering from the needle than is worth the twenty bucks you get for sitting a chair for an hour. I would recommend donating to anyone with easily accessible veins, makes a decent amount of money if your body doesn't hate you. The bruises have been incredible. I will hopefully be able to upload my photos so that I can share them with you. They are truly epic. School is boring. I derive very little pleasure from any of my classes because they are not challenging, nor are they entertaining. I guess that my bowling class is one of the harder classes that I have. Weird. If I hadn't of signed up for my classes myself I could complain about it more, but I did this to myself. I spent this morning listening to my teacher talk about how to properly use the desktop using a Windows system. Then she told us what LAN, RAM, ROM, WAN, and all of the other various abbreviations that they have given computer crap. It was seven in the morning, and all the lights were off, and I did the backwards bishop nod several times before she decided that we could end class ten minutes late. Normally, I wouldn't care because I have no class until Ten but today I was about ready to tackle her to the ground and run out of the room screaming like a banshee.
Then there is all of the friend drama in my life. Here is where we get to the people that you will hear much about. Yesterday, I talked to Ben for the first time in three weeks. Then he tried to complicate things by asking where we stood as friends. I told him that we were talking again and that he should complicate things more than they have to be. Relationships are hard work, but not that hard. If he wants to be my friend he can, I am not going to banish him to the outer realms of Tanskistan because sometimes he is a little too different than me. Then today, Josh was almost crying in the Union Building because his brother has a better job than he does, his brother also just bought a better car than he probably will ever have and the pissed off, jealous, picked on Josh kept me company today as I waited for my next class to start. I don't know what to say to him to make him feel any better because he wants to feel picked on I think. I have been with Josh for several of these moments and I hate that I feel helpless. I also hate that they are so frequent with him. I can say that I am really happy for Terra who is not here going to school. So why can't he be happy for his brother? I am a little jealous, but that is not going to stop me from going to school because I know that is what I am supposed to be doing. (I wouldn't wish Weber on anyone!)
I haven't heard from Elder Melancon in a month now. I will never say that I am waiting for him, but it is rather frustrating because I am not sure if I should just completely give up and move on. Who would I move on to? It seems to me that the only people that pay attention to me are the guys who are "fixer uppers" I am tired of being the bandage that keeps holding people together. You know when you have had a band aid on for too long when it either falls off, or leaves the sticky residue on your skin that doesn't come off for weeks after. Yeah. (This, however, does not include Paul because he is keeping me sane. I do not feel like his band aid.)
I think that I will save my ILP drama until my next post. I am feeling done with my word vomit whining. Next time there will be more uplifting news or I will make some up anyway.